February 2012: Eighth Anniversary Letter

I like writing this letter the most of any of the monthly offerings.  It is a wonderful opportunity to reflect on how I came to write this letter.  I get to comment how it has evolved, expanded, and where it might be going.

While this is the 8^th Anniversary of this letter that began in February 2004, June 24^th will mark the 10^th Anniversary of my writing 500 words or more per day.  It began as all handwriting and for two years, I did not share anything that I wrote.  I kept at because it helped me to think more clearly.  It helped me remember ideas, thoughts, and philosophical questions that had been idle and stale in the dark corners of my mind. 

I used to hate to write.  In high school and college, trying to piece together a 500 word essay was tortuous to say the least.  I was not good at it and the grades reflected it. Yet, for some reason, I envisioned myself as a writer.  It really did not make any sense but the vision never left me.  It just kept growing. 

It was not like I had a lot of encouragement either.  No teachers ever raved about my writing.  The few articles I published in the school and then Armenian papers were received somewhere between lukewarm and warm. 

Upon writing these lines, the name Dorothy Trosko, popped into my mind.  She taught English Composition in my senior year at Stevenson High School in Livonia, MI.  She had a tough reputation and I was apprehensive taking her class.  I do not believe I ever got more than a B in any of her assignments.  It was quite frustrating.  I tried harder to no avail.  I do believe she taught me how to write a paragraph.  No other English teacher stands out in my memory.  Perhaps, that is where the seed of all this was planted.

Over the years, I keep visioning and envisioning myself as a writer.  I simply did not write a lot or write regularly until 2002.  As mentioned above, when I did write, it was not the most pleasant of experiences.  It was tough grinding work.  Now, it is almost the exact opposite.

Handwriting versus typing:  When I began, I hand wrote every daily page.  I liked to use fine ball point pens.  In 2011, I do not think I hand wrote more than twenty days of my daily writing regimen.  This past half of the year, I probably did most of my daily writing on my iPad and the Zaag keyboard.  It is very convenient and has taken the place of the old fashioned notebook in which I used to take notes and handwrite my daily journal.  Since I bought the iPad in July, most every personal and business blog posting were drafted on my iPad in Apple’s word processing application:  Pages.  When I was thinking about publishing the postings, I would email them to myself from the iPad.  I would open the documents on my laptop and finish the final edits in MS Word for my monthly letter or Google Docs for just about every other blog post. 

I am amazed that I am still writing 500 words a day going on ten years.   I am even more amazed at how the mechanics of writing has evolved over the past three years with the rise of the good cloud based software like Google Docs and the simply wonderful iPad.   I am sure it will change more in the next two perhaps even more dramatically.

Where do you get the time?  I hear this question a fair amount of time.  Often it is from people that write and have a sense of the amount of effort that goes into penning such a letter.  My cousin Raffi Hovannisian recently asked me this question when he was in Chicago earlier this month.  It was a funny question coming from Raffi who amazes me with his busy schedule.  I wonder where he gets the time and energy running the Heritage Party in our Motherland of Armenia.

The answer to this question is pretty straight forward.  I spend anywhere from a half hour to an hour a day writing.  The blog postings and this letter are the fruits of that labor.  Depending on the topic and how, as they say, the juices are flowing, the daily writing could take 90 minutes.  It has taken as little as 15 minutes.  I wish I could get it all down to 15 minutes a day.  I would immediately begin writing 1,000 words a day if that were the case.

A new biography has come out about Charles Dickens by Claire Tomalin.  I did not buy the book but was amazed by a review I read in Time magazine.  By all accounts and measure, Dickens was prolific.  He wrote at least 35 major novels, 1 play, at least 4 non-fiction books, and many short stories.  What blew me away was that when he was into it, and he often was into it, he would write two novels at a time and drive himself to write 7,500 words a day.  He would handwrite 7,500 words a day!  He would handwrite 7,500 words a day using a pen he had to dip into an ink well!!  Amazing. 

He would start a new novel when he was half way through with another.  He was so driven that he would immerse his hands into a bucket of cold water to alleviate cramping and other pains that would naturally come from writing so much.  For example, he wrote The Pickwick Papers and Oliver Twist at the same time.  When he finished The Pickwick Papers, he began on Nicholas Nickleby.

At 1,000 words an hour, Dickens was writing for a full 8 hour day.  1,000 words an hour is an amazing clip.  If it took him an hour and a half, that would have made for a twelve hour day. 

Ladies and Gentleman, I am no Charles Dickens… neither in quality nor in output.  I would love to be.

Writing in the Internet Age:  I love this time.  I can sit at my desk, in a coffee shop, or in my easy chair.  I can be writing on either my laptop or iPad in any of these locations.  I can only imagine how productive Charles Dickens would be today with all the technology we have.  He would have definitely saved time on drafts and re-writes.

I really covered this in my November 2011 letter, The Internet Really Makes it all Easier.   I can be sitting and writing in any of aforementioned venues and if I need a quote or need to verify a fact I simply hit the internet.  A little Google search and, voila, the question is answered.  I do not have to get up and consult an encyclopedia or go to the library.  What can I say, I am made to write in these times. 

Case in point, I could not remember the author of the Dickens biography that was published in late in 2011.  A simple search of the internet and I had the name Clare Tomalin.  How can I not love this capability?

Who reads what:  In 2011, I wrote two blog pieces that attracted more attention than anything I had ever written.  Note that nothing I have written has remotely come anywhere near going viral. 

In May, I wrote a piece called The Rapture - May 21, 2011.  I posted the piece on May 20^th.  I was surprised when I looked at the blog statistics on Sunday May 21, the day the world was supposed to end, that almost 200 people had read my little piece.  That was the greatest number of hits my blog ever got on one day.  I had been averaging 25-50 hits per day.  I did not think it was my greatest posting but it was certainly timely and for once I wrote it just before the event.  Usually I am writing about something that has already happened.  This was more upfront and proactive.  There is a lesson in here. 

In October, I wrote a piece The Detroit Lions.  It was basically my reaction to the professional football team of my home town.  They had been unbelievably dismal all of my life as a sports fan.  This past season they became less dismal.  I wrote it while watching Monday Night Football and seeing the Lions easily beat the Chicago Bears.  This single posting took off like a rocket.  It became the all time most read posting in October and continued on through today being the most read piece on a daily basis.  As of February 22 just before midnight, this page has had 4.525 hits.  I was amazed by the power of sports.  In May, I wrote about the The University of Michigan Hockey Team.  In September, I wrote about Michigan Football in when they beat Notre Dame for the second year in a row.  If I were interested in traffic, I might simply focus on sports.

The next closest piece was the Rapture posting but no more.  In May I wrote one on the assassination attempt on the famous singer Ibrahim Tatlises from Turkey.  This posting Sweet Voice Sweet Voice is currently in second place with  617 page views.

For these top two posts, The Detroit Lions and Sweet Voice, almost all of the traffic comes to my blog from image searches.  I have images of both the Detroit Lions logo and Ibrahim Tatlises from the 1980s in these postings.  People are searching for images and get directed to my blog pages.  Cool.  If I were interested in generating traffic, I might simply use photos of hot sports teams and celebrities.

I wrote other pieces I was quite proud of this past year.  Oddly, my liking something I wrote does not necessarily correlate to others liking it.  In January I wrote one called STFU!   It is basically a rant against anyone and everyone who feels the need to preach to me how I should think, what I ought to be doing, or who I should have voted for… or not voted for.  I felt great writing that piece.  It was a great catharsis.  It resonated with several of you.   Neither my wife nor mother appreciated the use of the “F” word.

I wrote a piece, Hokehankist, in July.  It was a reflection on the Repose of the Soul service in the Armenian Church.   It is the part of the Armenian Liturgy that impacts me the most.  A lot of people wrote personal notes telling me how much they related to that posting.

The bottom line is that I cannot predict what people will like.  Things I thought were sure fire hits were received lukewarmly.  Pieces I have that of as lukewarm, were very warmly received and resulting a surprising output of sentiment.  I am not trying to do this to gain readership or a following.  At this point, it is something I just do.  I do it every day.  To the statistician in me, it is curious to see what I like versus what resonates with people. 

I have read many times that writers have to write.  I have trained myself over these past ten years to do just that.  I have to write. The topics are varied and come from the news and ideas or notions that come from the recesses of my mind.  Many a night, I am writing just before I turn in.  I have to do it and will not go to bed before completing this daily regimen.  

Tom Vartabedian:  I have a friend, supporter, and mentor.  Tom Vartabedian is a wonderful man.  He is personable and easy going.  Tom truly sees the glass as half full.  His enthusiasm and energy is contagious.  From his last name, Tom is clearly Armenian and he takes his heritage seriously.  Tom by profession is a journalist and photographer.  Born and raised in Massachusetts, he spent 40 years with the Haverhill Gazette.  He is retired but as busy and prolific as any retired journalist could be.  If you meet him you might easily underestimate his age by a good fifteen years. 

I believe Tom held editorial positions at the Haverhill Gazette.  I cannot comment directly on his managerial and editorial skills, but I am sure he was very good at it.  I can almost say for certain, regarding his profession, Tom first love is to cover good stories and write about them.  This is how I know Tom.  He has a long standing relationship with The Armenian Weekly where he regularly pens a column called Poor Tom's Almanac and does feature stories.  I have been reading Tom's work for years and venture to say he has been a contributor to the Weekly for at least 40 years.  I am a long term reader of his and have become his friend in the past fifteen years.

In that time, perhaps longer, Tom has taken to covering the Armenian Youth Federation Annual Olympics Games.  These games that include swimming, track and field, and tennis take place every Labor Day weekend.  Tom has taken most of the photos and written most of the articles for The Armenian Weekly's Annual Olympics Special issue.  People cannot wait to get that issue and that is primarily because of Tom.  He is everywhere the whole weekend with his notepad, pen, and camera.  He is interviewing and taking pictures.  Then voila after a few weeks, the special issue comes out and it is always a masterpiece. 

This past year Tom was recuperating from heart bypass surgery.  Tom arranged for three of us to do what he used to do by himself.  We barely made got it done and the issue was two weeks late!  That is how organized and prolific Tom is.  Three of us could not replace him.

On January 12 of this year, The Armenian Weekly published a vintage Tom Vartabedian article on Cher.  Take a read of it and see why I love to read Tom's work:   The Armenian Side of Cher. 

  Thanks: I would like to thank everyone who has been so supportive of my writing over the past year.  The aforementioned, Tommy Vartabedian, a great newspaperman, is first and foremost on this list.  He is always encouraging and always complimentary. His support means a great deal to me.  

I thank my son, Aram, for his editorial contributions.  Judy for her general support.  I thank Mark Axelrod, Marty Shoushanian, Dale Dvorak, Ruth Swisher, Nadya Uygun, David Gavoor, and Greg Postian for commenting on and acknowledging many if not every letter I send out.

Thanks to Ara Topouzian for not writing and giving me grief for not mentioning or thanking him.  This reference should keep him quiet for another month.

Thanks to Raffi Bandazian and Ara Surenian for encouraging me to move things to a blog.  Special thanks to Marilyn Zavidow, my Westport, CT to Grand Central train buddy, who was a great collaborator in the planning of the letter and actually came up with the name This Side of Fifty.  

As I do every year, I like to remember the man I never met, Aram Kevorkian, whose own monthly letters inspired my to write this monthly letter to friends and family.  

The Wheel of Fortune?

It hard to imagine that I would ever be writing about a TV game show.  It is even harder for me to believe that if I ever wrote about a TV game show that it would be about the Wheel of Fortune.  Am I really this hard up for topics?  

I have never ever watched an entire Wheel of Fortune show from beginning to end.  I have never done that because Pat Sajak, the long standing host, irritates the holy heck out of me.  I do not know what it is about this fellow but the word smarmy comes to mind.  

Smarmy?  I do not believe I have ever typed that word before.  Did I use the right word?  I looked it up because I occasionally will use a word that I am not sure of the exact meaning and get it wrong.  I do believe I used the perfect word according to the urbandictionary.com which defines smarmy as “A certain attitude often accompanied by a squinty look and a superior smile that makes you instantly hate a person. Similar to snobby.”  Yep, that’s it.

I did not set out to write a slam piece on Pat Sajak.  He has done quite well without my support thank you very much.  His popularity was so high in the 1980s, he even hosted his own talk show in 1989.  People were thinking he would be the next Johnny Carson.  I did not see it that way at all and thought he would flop.  The show lasted fifteen months.  

The Wheel of Fortune was created by Merv Griffin in 1975.  Chuck Woolery was the first host.  Sajak became the second host in 1981 and has been hosting the show ever since.  He obviously has plenty of fans as he has made a very very nice living hosting this show for such a long run.  I read he is contracted through 2014.  Good for him.  The last time I saw a bit of the show in late 2011, Pat did seem a lot less smarmy to me.  He is now 65 years old and smarminess, as we all know,  is young man’s game.  So, either he has matured or I have become more tolerant..  I am going with the former.

Why is The Wheel of Fortune even a topic?  Just this week it came out that good old Pat admitted to having hosted the show drunk more than a few times in the early days.  For some reason, that made him more human to me.  The stories were like “Pat Sajak was drunk behind the ‘Wheel.’”  So, the topic came up in conversation.  Perhaps, it was the hosting tipsy that brought out his smarmy side.

You cannot talk about The Wheel of Fortune, the most popular syndicated game show in the US, without talking about Vanna White, the hostess of the show since 1983.  Her job all these years is to look pretty and to turn the letters.  Early on she physically rotated the triangular cylinders that revealed the letters.  Recently she touches TV screens that reveal the letters.  I never understood her role after the letters went electronic.  I always understood her popularity.   She will be 54 years old this year and she’s still got it.

I am probably just jealous of both of them for having landed and kept their lucrative and cushy gigs for thirty years.

Maybe I will watch an entire show sometime...

January 2012: Health & Fitness Letter

January 24:  Blogger, the host of my This Side of Fifty blog, provides statistics on the number of hits by day, week, month, and all time.  It provides the top pages views in each of those categories.  I learned just there were over fifty hits to my few of my past Health and Fitness letters.  While this is not even close to being viral, I do not recall seeing the Annual Health and Fitness postings ever getting any hits.  It made me wonder why?  It made me wonder why now?  Being that we are nearing the end of January, this could be because people are struggling with keeping to their dietary resolutions and looking for inspiration and tips on how to stick to their regimen. 

No matter what the reason, seeing hits to these postings made me realize I have not written a Health and Fitness letter since July of 2010.  I basically skipped 2011.  There is a good reason for that.  I was not happy with either my health or fitness.  The back-slide that I reported in 2010 continued through 2011. In fact, it continued until just this month.  I was not happy that I had only logged 1,000 outdoor miles last year.  That was the lowest mileage I had logged since 2003.  I was not happy that I grew a pant size or two since the last Health and Fitness letter.  I was really down on myself.  As there was nothing good to report, I did not want to write a preaching but not practicing letter.  I did not particularly want to pen a whiny letter.  So, I just skipped it.

Yet, I am writing a Health and Fitness letter now.  Why?  What will I write about?  Stasis?  That would be equally boring. 

I decided to write a Health and Fitness letter because I am recommitting to the quest I began in 2006.  It was a resolution, a decision basically, I made late last year.  I am a month into it and I feel better for sticking to it for 24 days for two reasons.  First, I am just happy to have kept to it for 24 days and thus it was not a false start.  Most false starts last about a day.  Second, I physically feel better for eating right and exercising every day.  I knew this to be true, it was simply difficult to get out of my own way to, as Nike says, "Just Do It!"  This Health and Fitness letter is about getting started and launching the initiative. 

The words of Mark Twain always come to me when I think about false starts.  He said, "Quitting smoking is easy.  I've done it a thousand times."  There are a lot of people who suffer silently from the string of false starts.  When the string gets longer, we tend to beat ourselves up.  We see others that seem to be above these kinds of tribulations and we wonder what is wrong with us.  The longer the string becomes, the more likely we are to give up and accept that being overweight, addicted to smoking, and any other habit we are trying to break is simply our lot in life.

My belief is to never ever give up.  It is the mandate of Winston Churchill and was the motto of my late father in-law, Harold Mardoian.  Here are some quotes on why we should never give up on what we want:

• Never, never, never give up!  ~ Winston Churchill
• Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock. ~ Anonymous
• Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts. ~ Anonymous

 January 26:  There are many tips, tricks, methods, activities, and mindsets one could take to initiate and achieve a lifestyle change.  There is no right way.  The right way is the way that works.  The right way is the way that works for you.  Look at them all.  Try them all. Pick the ones that resonate best and ride it for as long as you can.  Maybe the "never give up" quotes listed above are all you need.  Perhaps it is the advice from Dr. Mehmet Oz .  He provides the following bits of advice:

• Don't beat yourself up
• Write it down
• Declare it publicly
• Arrange your environment to help
• Track your progress
• You are not planning to fail, you are failing to plan.  It is key to find an eating style that is both healthy and something you can follow. 
• Eating in reverse is key (see the triangle figures).  Eat your biggest meal for breakfast.  Lunch should be smaller than breakfast.  Dinner should be smaller than lunch.  
• Snacking is good if it is healthy and in controlled portions.
• Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.

 I really believe in "eating in reverse comment."  I heard it once from a Colgate colleague from France that I met only once.  You need the fuel to work and get through the day, not to sleep.  Also, I am thoroughly convinced that the lighter your dinner and not eating after 8 pm makes for a much better night's sleep.  

I also believe in tracking progress.  I only do well when I am recording my weight every morning and evening.  The scale tells the truth.  I am real good at justifying veering off the dietary path with any number of inane rationalizations.  The scale demolishes those myths by reporting the reality of what happens when I take in many more calories than I expend.  For me the scale takes all the BS out of the equation.

I am not so hot on the good Doctor's advice to plan better.  But, this is just me.  It may be perfect advice for others.  There reason I say this because I am great at planning.  My problem is that I am a much better at planning than implementing and executing the plan.  I know what to do.  I have known what to do for a very long time that "Knowing never equals doing."  

January 27:  I clearly am making this too difficult.  It really does not have to be very complicated.  All you have to do is watch TV.  I just saw a commercial on TV.  It began with a simple question, "Where exactly is your road to happiness?"  It continued with "On a Beach?  On a mountain?  Or wherever you are."  It had my curiosity.  What were they selling?  A path to self-fulfillment?  I wanted to know.  I had to know.  Given I was working on this letter, it seemed to fit right in.  "The first step on that road may well be..."  Please tell me.  If have to know.  I have to incorporate it into my letter.  The answer?  "The first step on that road may well be... a bowl of soup."  Of course, what else did I expect in a television advertisement?  This was an advertisement for Campbell’s Soup.  The first step on that road may well have been... a bright yellow Camaro, a membership to Bally Fitness, or perhaps a new suit from Men's Warehouse ("you're going to like the way you look").   Actually, all you have to do is by a roll of Mentos and you can make yourself and everyone around you happy.

All kidding aside, there was not a first step on this particular version of my road to happiness.  There were, in fact, several steps or motivations.

First and foremost is health.  I want to live a quality life and be as self-sufficient as possible as long as possible.  I do not want to be a burden on others.  I do not want to ever have to live in any kind of assisted living or full care facility, if I can help it.  The only way to do that is to take care of myself right now.  This means eating right and exercising.  Eating right is following the Dr. Dean Ornish plan of eating whole grains, fruits, and vegetables until you are full.  Other foods like non-fat dairy should be consumed in moderation.  Sugars, alcohol, and meats should be avoided.   A very good synopsis of the Ornish diet is found on this Web-MD link. 

 Exercising is all about getting myself back on the bike.  I biked so little last year because I had a little knee issue from August to December of last year.  I was convinced that I would need surgery.  I was actually limping around and very tentative on stairs.   My sister Nancy said that if I did need to do surgery, the best thing I could was to prepare for a quicker recovery by losing weight and strengthening the muscles around the knee.  The best exercise for that is the same exercise that doctors prescribe post surgery:  bicycling.  

I was tentative to get back on the bike.  But, this month I figured I will try it.  The worst that could happen is my knee could hurt worse and that would hasten my trip to an orthopedic specialist.  Beginning January 1, I started up again on the stationary bicycle in the basement.  I began with a very light level of resistance.  Guess what?  My knee feels much better.  The creaks and aches are not entirely gone, but it is much better.  There is no discernable limp most days and I am not tentative on stairs.  Cool.  I am even back to the resistance levels I had been using before this injury.  I recently went for an annual check-up.  My physician, Dr. Mark Rudberg, said to continue the bicycling and does not recommend seeing an orthopedic specialist at this time.  Double cool.

The second step or motivation might sound vain (heck this whole letter probably sounds vain).  For me getting lean is matter of self-esteem.  I have been one unhappy SOB these past two years.  I have beaten myself up pretty good for this back-slide and the subsequent inability to get it back under control.  That unhappiness was impossible to keep inside.  It translated into a surliness that was not pleasant to be around.  My wife commented just this morning I am much happier because I am back on the right road to health and fitness.  Eating right and exercising has led to a ten pound weight reduction but the weight off of my mind is probably ten times that.   This is a very strong motivation to continue. 

Related to this self-esteem motivation is how others perceive me.  As a management consultant, I have to sell to get business.  I have to sell my capabilities and my personality.  I have to feel good about myself to put my most positive foot forward.  The better I like what I see in the mirror, the better I feel about myself.  Also, there is the reality of first impressions.  Do I really want my first impression to be old and fat?  That is hardly a first positive first step in a sales process.  I cannot do much about my age (don't even think of suggesting that I dye my hair).  In fact, I have no problem selling age and experience.  But, if I do not appear active and energetic, looking instead overweight and lethargic, I am no one anybody would want to hire.  I can certainly do something about the looking lean and energetic... get lean and be energetic.  That is my intention. 

I often refer to and even make fun of my good friend and fellow musician Ara Topouzian.  I have to give Ara some inspirational credit for this latest re-start of my quest for health, fitness, and longevity.  Ara shares some of the same challenges I do with regard to the battle of rotundity. 

In November, Ara was here for a gig.  We were to play a concert of Armenian folk and classical music for a 50^th birthday party in Chicago.  We had a singer with us with whom we had not worked playing a repertoire that was a bit outside our normal dance music.  We had a lot of practicing to do.  Ara came early and we spent some time.  I was impressed that he had started a healthier eating habit.  I was double impressed at how dedicated he was to it.  This also motivated me.

Ara and I share something else in this regard.  His two brothers and his father are lean and lead very healthy active lifestyles.  My Dad, my Uncle Buddy, Cousin David, and my son Aram are in that same boat.  I am always talking about, at least to myself, “letting my inner Gavoor out.”  By this I mean, emulating the health and fitness lifestyle of the other Gavoor men I know.  I am sure Ara feels he is letting his inner Topouzian out. 

January 29:  I just saw a quote via Twitter.  It was from Jim Rohn.  It is the perfect quote to finish this letter with.  It reminded me of a quote that I used in my January 2008 letter, so I am including that as well.

• Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. ~ Jim Rohn
• Goals are dreams with deadlines.~ Barbara Scharf Hunt

 Yes, this is what anyone embarking on such a journey needs:  Dreams with deadlines and the discipline to make the dream happen.  I would love to get back to writing the Annual Health and Fitness letter again in either June or July.  I would love to have good things to report.

Wish me luck!

Hrant Dink: Five Years Later

There were marches in Turkey today. Thousands of people took to the streets to commemorate the five year anniversary of the assassination of the renowned Turkish Armenian journalist Hrant Dink. The turnout was impressively large for more than just the passing of five years. Just this past week or so, the verdicts were handed down in the trials on those accused of killing Dink. It was largely known, or strongly assumed, that the assassination of the Dink was a conspiracy of ultra nationalists. Turkey is the kind of country where the distinction between ultra-nationalists and government is fuzzy.

The young man, Ogun Samast, who gunned down Dink on the streets outside of the offices of Dink's Agos newspaper was sentenced to 22 years in prison. The fellow who incited Samast to commit the crime got life in prison. Two other men each received sentences of 12 years. Sixteen others received light to no sentences. What has caused most of the outrage is that all 19 of accused were acquitted of being a part of a conspiracy.

“Issuing verdicts when the judicial investigation has established so little was already unacceptable but the court’s decisions are absolutely scandalous,” said Reporters Without Borders. “By portraying this murder as the work of a small group of fanatics, the judicial authorities have reflexively protected the state, whose role in this murder has nonetheless been demonstrated by all the independent investigations."

With this verdict, the Turkish state continues its policy of hatred against Armenians. They continue deny the Genocide of 1915, their discrimination of the few Armenians who have lived in Turkey since, and, of course, the murder of Hrant Dink and the trial of those accused of conspiring his assassination. They are a paranoid obstinate lot that believes the time is their only ally in settling "the Armenian question."

It is heartening, though, to see the number of Turks who are also outraged by this. The outrage shown in Istanbul today may be beyond my own outrage. It does my heart good to see this. All Turks do not hate Armenians. Many, like those who protested today look, as I do, to the similarities between Turks and Armenians not the difference. The government, their actions and policies regarding Armenians and other minorities, has been the problem since at least 1890.

There have always been Turks that feel as I do that we are more like cousins then enemies. The culture, the foods, the music, and even some of the language overlap. But, we cannot celebrate these things on a large scale until the Turkish Government just gets out its own way and acknowledges exactly what happened. In my one and only trip to Istanbul, half the people looked Armenian to me.

In 1915, a million and a half Armenians were killed in the Genocide. Yet, the killing of one more, Hrant Dink, has done as much to bring the topic to the forefront in Turkey than anything we may have done in the diaspora. A few days ago I referred to Hrant Dink as the Martin Luther King of Turkey in my previous blog posting. I was hesitant to do it because I was not sure if it was the right comparison.  I pondered and did it anyway. After today's demonstrations in Turkey, I believe I am absolutely correct.  I hope Hrant Dink's death brings about the transformation in Turkey he had so strongly advocated for in this life.

Reflections: Martin Luther King Day

It is the closing hour of Martin Luther King Day.  I have not had a chance to reflect on the life, work, message, and importance of Dr. King until now.  I thought I would listen to his most famous speech and reflect on the great man in my daily writing.

I like to listen to his "I Have a Dream"  speech on this day.  It is not long.  It is only about sixteen minutes long but one of the most significant speeches that I have ever heard.  It is something I encourage everyone to listen to on this day.  It helps us realize why we have a national holiday in this country to honor this man who never held public office.  In a time when we no longer honor Washington and Lincoln’s birthdays, but rather lump them all together in President’s Day, we have a national holiday to honor this man who made us realize the injustices and prejudices that were and to a degree still are an embarrassment to this great nation.

The speech was given on August 28, 1963.  It was the keynote speech of the March on Washington, DC.  I was only ten at the time.  It was almost three months before the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.  I do not remember the speech at all from that time but more after April 4, 1968 when Dr. King was assassinated in Memphis when, at fifteen, I could better understand the impact and meaning of the words.

In school, back in 1963, we learned that Lincoln freed the slaves.  In my early naivete, I assumed that they were free and that was it.  End of story.  Slavery was evil but with the Emancipation Proclamation, everything was then set right and everyone lived happily ever after.  I learned, however,  that history is rarely that simple.  It is way more complicated.  My views changed gradually as I learned about carpetbaggers, sharecropping, the Ku Klax Klan, and the Jim Crow laws.  At first, when I learned about “separate but equal,” I focused on the equal part more than the separate part.  I liked to believe in our country and the noble values extolled in The Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.  The glass was always half full for me back then.  As I grew older, I learned that the separate part was quite definitive.  The separate part was ruled with an iron fist.  I came to learn that the equal part was anything but.  

I remember a lot of the adults around me not thinking much of the civil rights movement and the leaders of this movement.  Regarding Dr. King, most did not care for him.  They believed what we now know is the propaganda clandestinely put forth by J. Edgar Hoover.  Most were sons and daughters of immigrants whose parents escaped hardships, discrimination, and worse to come to this country because of all the noble ideas that enamored me as a school boy.  By 1968, their views of Dr. King made no sense to me especially since no one else stated those noble and admirable American ideals as well as Martin Luther King did on that August day in Washington.  

I filter all of this through my Armenian soul as well.  I do it for a few reasons.  First, I cannot help it.  It is who I am.  Second, we are people who suffered in another country and can relate to the movement led by and the message of Martin Luther King.  My cousin Jason Ohanian sent me a tweet earlier today:  

Not sure about you, but today always makes me think about our Armenian ancestors' struggles.  

I do believe this is the second time in one week that cousin Jason provided a blog topic for me.  Thanks again cuz!

Third, Hrant Dink was assassinated on the streets of Istanbul on January 19, 2007.  He was gunned down because he was a beacon, leader, and voice as a citizen of Turkey who advocated that Turkey acknowledge their past injustices and embrace the Armenians still in Turkey and treat them as full equals.  Hrant Dink indeed had a dream.  He had the same dream as Martin Luther King.  Martin Luther King Day was January 15th in 2007.  When Hrant Dink was killed four days later, I remember thinking he is and should be viewed as a Martin Luther King of Turkey.  Maybe they will have a national holiday in Turkey one day in honor for Hrant Dink.  

I think I will listen to Dr. King’s speech one more time...

Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

Yesterday, I set out to write a piece about it being mid-January and how unhappy I was with my progress against my various New Year’s resolutions.  I tend get quite ambitious when it comes to resolutions.  Let me rephrase that, I am quite ambitious and optimistic in the setting of the resolutions.  This year was no different.  I could sum up all my resolutions in one resolution:  Significantly improve in every aspect of my life.  Yes, this includes weight, health, music, writing, business, teaching, etc.

I do not know if most people are so naively ambitious.  My guess is not.  I think people pick one resolution.  As I have blogged on New Year's resolutions before, losing weight and quitting smoking is what most folks focus on.  We are quite excited to set and pronounce our resolutions.  Around this time in the New Year, we get frustrated as we realized “Dang, it is hard to keep true to these resolutions.”  Around this time is when people lose their initial exuberance, the temptations to behave habitually becomes quite strong, and the resolutions lose their resolve.

I was writing about this yesterday.  I fully intended to have posted on the subject.  I did not.  My frustration with not making enough progress was multiplied by my frustration with the whiny drivel I had written.  Yuck.  No one wants to read a pile of wimpy pathetic lamentations.  Heck, Ara Topouzian is amazed anyone ever reads my blogs.  If I had posted that pile of dung, he would have had a field day.   I dropped the topic figuring I just could not get the right perspective from which to write the piece.

Yesterday evening, I was doing some other work.  On a break, I checked my twitter and saw a post from my cousin Jason Ohanian:

Ever feel like you are your own worst enemy? I know I am, but try to work through it and stay positive anyway.

Jason’s words resonated.  Here was my angle!  Besides the angle, it was also a diagnosis of why I was unhappy and frustrated.  Everyone is their own worst enemy.  They are hardest on themselves.  I did not realize how pervasive this was until I managed people.  Most companies have a performance review process where people rate themselves against their objectives for the past year.  I found that most people, like 85% or more, were very tough in rating themselves.  The other 15% were simply delusional.  Until I saw this, I did not realize how tough I was on myself.  

I responded to Jason.  Here is the remainder of the twitter exchange.

me  Dang... it might be a cousin thing. I was feeling exactly this earlier today!
Jason:  Maybe its an Armenian thing? I also think most folks are their own worst enemies.
me: you are absolutely correct... most people are way too hard on themselves.  

The nature of resolutions is to change a habit that is well entrenched.  The habit or pattern of behaviors did not develop overnight or in the blink of an eye.  Yet, we believe that they can be overcome quickly and forthrightly.  I made a decision.  I flipped the switch.  I am resolved.  Problem solved.  Of course, we learn from experience that it is not that easy or we were not serious enough in making the decision.  This causes frustration. Frustration makes you waiver and backslide.  You become even harder on yourself and voila... you are your own worst enemy.

New Year’s resolutions, at least the way I make them, are big and broad.  They are to rid ourselves of longstanding habits and patterns of behavior.  These patterns are well trenched.  While making a firm resolution is good, that is the easiest part.    How many times did I flick away a cigarette and say “That is my last cigarette” until I finally was able to quit.  In my earlier posting on this subject, I quoted Mark Twain who said “Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it a thousand times.”  They say is easy.  The doing is the harder longer haul part of this.

We are a society of instant gratification.  We want everything and we want it quickly.  We want our resolutions to happen in the span of time it takes a CSI team to solve a crime.  It is why people are looking for the miracle weight loss or quite smoking method, pill, or magic wand.  There are no magic wands.

I was in a Barnes and Noble today and downloaded a freebee that they called “Advice to Go.”  It was a short essay by Allyson Lewis, a time management and productivity guru and author.  The download was to entice me to buy her latest book:  The 7 Minute Solution.  I read her little essay.  It was good but I did not buy the book.  She offered seven (she likes that prime number) things one could do to better manage their time.  Two of them applied to the topic at hand here and are worth mentioning:

Good Habits are formed like cow paths:  The habits we are trying to break are, a mentioned above, well worn and well entrenched.  They are like cow paths which are made by the consistent behavior of cows.  If we want to change such a habit, we have to create a new cow path for ourselves.  This means we have to learn a new behavior and consistently repeat that behavior until we have ourselves a new cow path and grass has grown over and hidden the old one.

Micro-actions:  The way we make a new cow path is by the hundreds, maybe thousands, of decisions we make each day.   Take the stairs or the elevator?  Eat a candy bar or an orange?  Smoke a cigarette or chew a piece of gum?  These are the micro-actions Lewis speaks of.  Each one is either a step on the new cow path or the old cow path.

Happy Up:  To quote Allyson Lewis. “Life is better when you are happy.”  This is so obvious that most of us do not get it.  Life is a journey.  Why not be happy and enjoy it while striving and stretching ourselves to improve.  Are we going happily toward a goal of improved health, improved quality of life, and longevity?  Or, are we fighting all the way lamenting and feeling low that we are denying ourselves the cigarettes or high calorie low nutrition foods?  If we choose the latter, we are bound to fail.  

The frustration I have been talking magnifies the unhappiness and together they drive us to fail.  It is about attitude and Jason said that he was trying to stay positive.  Sure we will have our little setbacks.  Let’s be determined and happy about the change we are trying to realize.  Stop being your own worst enemy.  Let’s create that new cow path one positive step at a time.

Thanks Jason!  Thanks Allyson!  I am feeling much less frustrated.