There was a Facebook post a few weeks ago. It asked people to respond to a simple question: An animal, besides a dog, that you’ve been chased by? I am equally likely to pass up these kinds of posts as I am to comment on them. This one intrigued me.
I started thinking if I have ever been chased by an animal other than a dog. I couldn’t think of an instance. Such is the consequence of urban and suburban living all my life. Our house in Connecticut was the most rustic place I have ever lived. In our time there I had seen deer, skunks, racoons, pheasants, rabbits, bats, wild turkeys, ground hogs, hawks, bats, coyotes, guinea hens, possums, copperhead snakes, and others. My wife was once chased by a racoon there. Though a chase was not involved, I did have a memorable encounter with an animal. It was like the second time I visited the house after we bought. I decided to walk around the house and survey the grounds. I went into the backyard and came face-to-face with the most magnificent buck I have ever seen. It was the only buck I had ever seen. But it was magnificent. It was big, fully antlered with a large swath of white fur on the front of its neck. We surprised each other. He snorted and with a quick startled shifting of all his hooves at once, set himself into an amazing stance, almost exactly like The Hartford logo. We stared at each other for a long second or six, and then he bolted quickly and effortlessly into the wood. In the seventeen years we lived there, I would see many does and fawns but never saw another that buck again.
I was in a most philosophical mood having just lost a dear friend a week earlier. When a close friend or family member passes on, we, or at least I, tend to get more philosophical about life than might be our norm. An animal, besides a dog, that I’ve been chased by? Well, as I never had been chased by anything but a dog, I left this comment: The grizzled nasty wolverine of my own expectations.
Well clearly as a proud graduate and avid fan of the University of Michigan, the wolverine was the animal for this role. They have a reputation of being ferocious and tenacious in both protecting themselves and bringing down their prey. I am not sure why I chose the words “grizzled” and “nasty.” They simply popped into my head as I was writing the post. I think they were for effect.
Am I chased by my own expectations? Sure I am. I imagine many people are. Some of us fulfill them while others are tortured by them. Our own expectations can drive us, make us perfectionists, or any imaginable form of stressed out. The relentless pursuit of perfection may be a great tagline for Lexus but only applies to a small number of us humans.
We must have expectations. We have to have dreams. It is a wonderful part of life to have expectations, goals, dreams, and ambitions. These move us to strive and to accomplish. When sane, motivated, gifted, and well-intentioned people fulfill their expectations, our world is enriched and moves forward.
So, is my being chased by own expectations a good or bad thing?
It is good. The bar of my expectations moves up and down as time passes and my sense of self changes with the circumstances that happen in life. In my previous post, I referred to the concept of Opportunist Randomness. My expectations bend and otherwise adapt flexibly to the opportunities as they avail themselves in a seemingly random manner. They bend and adapt to the impact of other random events and influences.
Sense of self? Sure, I continue to learn what I like and don’t like. I continue to realize what I am good at and may never be good at. I continue to realize what the limitations of my skills. Maybe most importantly, I continue to realize and understand the gap between my ego and my ambition… if this even makes
So, while my
expectations have propelled me along, I must focus on the ground covered and
the accomplishments rather than what remains unfinished. Have I achieved everything I expected exactly
as I envisioned? Of course not, but good
enough in most of the dimensions and there is more to do.
I will admit, the grizzled nasty wolverine image was for the Facebook post. I will stick with the wolverine for old alma mater. As for the grizzled and nasty… not so much.
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