Switcheroo?

 

Back in the early 2000’s, while living in Connecticut, I came home on a nice fall Friday evening after a high school football game.  My daughter was with me.  I parked my car in the garage.  We walked out of the garage, which was not connected to the house, and through the breezeway to the back door of the house.  I had my keys in hand, but instead of using the house key, I hit the unlock on my car fob remote and grabbed the door knob to open the door.   Needless to say, the door remained locked.  My daughter noticed what I was errantly trying to do burst out laughing at my folly.

In my early twenties, I left for a weekend getaway.  When I got home, my sister was staring me down.  I eloquently inquired, “What?”  She said, “Why did you take my toothbrush?”  My three sisters and I shared a bathroom and our toothbrushes were hung on the same cup holder rack attached to the wall.  “I took the toothbrush I have been using all along.”  My sister, didn’t say a word, thought, and then cried out “Ew!!  Gross!!” when it dawned on her we were using the same toothbrush for at least six months.  It was generally assumed, no doubt due to precedence, that it was my error, not hers.

This is but a sample of the silly slip-ups and inadvertent switcheroos that have made me shake my head, laugh, cringe in embarrassment, and, depending on the gravity of the context, become downright upset with myself.

Of course, these kind of things do not exclusively happen to me, they happen to everyone. 

I remember being at an Armenian youth competition where my Dad was running the track and field events.  He conscripted me to be one of the timers for the track events.   Dad told another volunteer that he should start passing out the medals to the events already completed.  The fellow agreed and went to his car to retrieve the box of medals.  He returned, plopped the box on the officials table, opened the box, and moaned, “Oh no, I took the wrong box.”  The box he had was full of spray paint cans.  I knew the cardboard box of medals was on a shelf in his garage right next to where the cardboard box of paints was sitting.

This is stuff of comedy as well.   The Three Stooges employ often employ the errant switch effectively in their slapstick mayhem.  The boys were painting a table and Moe had a cup of coffee.  After several strokes of his paintbrush and several sips of coffee, he dipped his brush in the coffee and took a sip from the paint can.  In another short, a southern belle inadvertently used potholder as the middle layer of a three deck cake.   The cake was iced and served resulting in everyone coughing up potholder stuffing.

We have all used a permanent marker on a white board, as I have.  After doing it a few times, we all learn to check. 

I have never grabbed a screwdriver instead of a pen.  If I did, I am fairly certain I wouldn’t try to write with it.  Likewise, I have never mistakenly picked up a jackhammer instead of an awl when I wanted to make another hole in a belt.  Luckily, I don’t even have a jackhammer and if I did, I would probably have caught my error before I figured out how to turn it on.

My switcheroo errors and musings are, basically, the fodder for comedy.

Mistaking a 9mm handgun for a Taser, discharging the weapon, and killing a person is tragic and unfathomable.