Welcome, Lilly Torosyan

Originally published in the Armenian Weekly

In the same week that the Armenian Weekly published my piece thanking editor emeritus Pauline Getzoyan for her five years of stewardship of the Weekly, I read the first piece by our new editor Lilly Torosyan.

My first thought was one simple word: “Wow.” Lilly can write. Lilly weaved a beautiful piece, threading many familial and national themes into a poetic tapestry, to mark her taking the helm of this venerable paper. We gained insight into her family, rooted to the recent history of our nation, in the eyes of her grandfather. We learned of Lenin’s despicable response to Shaumian and Andranik’s request for weapons. She invoked Raphael Patkanian, James Baldwin, Zahrad, Siamanto and Tigran Hamasyan. While Lilly’s tapestry is beautifully crafted, it is also bluntly serious, as is the last century and half of our history.

My second thought was, “Oh boy, not only will I have to sharpen my pen, but I will have to sharpen my wit, expand my vocabulary and seriously mine for deeper metaphors to keep up with our new editor.” I don’t think this was her intent. I believe she was just writing in her natural and gifted voice. But in doing so, there was a tug on, a tightening of, the creative tension that anyone who contributes to the Weekly probably felt. It was an invitation to step it up, to take things to a new level. This is the kind of thing any organization, including a weekly newspaper, needs in order to refine the organizational ethos and nurture continuous improvement.

The Weekly has a long and proud history. The editors, their staff and contributors have defined the quality of the paper and forged this proud history. The editor is the leader, of course, in this regard. We face existential concerns, rooted in Nakhichevan, Karabakh, Zangezur and whatever the unholy alliance Turkey and Azerbaijan are planning as their next step. The role of the Weekly is to buoy our part of the diaspora in these rough seas as we contribute however we can to ameliorating our national plight. We, the larger Weekly community, also need to support our local communities and organizations, especially those of our youth, like the AYF and HMEM, to keep our community viable, vibrant and cohesive.

Pauline Getzoyan felt all of this intensely in her tenure as editor. Lilly Torosyan feels it with the same passion. Pauline inspired and encouraged folks like me to want to contribute more to the Weekly. Lilly has certainly picked up where Pauline left off and has taken a very good first step in charting her own course. 

Welcome, Lilly, and best wishes for a long and successful term as editor.

Who Said What?

 

I watched a movie, The Big Short (2015), which presented the Hollywood version of the subprime meltdown in 2007 that arguably triggered The Great Recession.   It was a very well-done and engaging film with a star-studded cast that included:  Steve Carell (Mark Baum), Christian Bale (Michael Burry), Ryan Gosling (Jared Vennett), and Brad Pitt (Ben Rickert).  All the characters portrayed by these stars were based on real people but only Christian Bale’s character, Michael Burry, used the character’s real name.  The movie is fast paced, gripping and each of these actors does a great job. 

There was a Mark Twain quote at the beginning of the movie: “It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.”  It resonated with me, as quotes are prone to do.  I reversed the video, hit stop and took a photo of it.  It was a very cool quote. 

I did an internet search to find a graphic for the inevitable bloggy bit I was going to write about this.  There were graphics of the quote but there were articles, as well, that state that Mark Twain never said this.  This is the problems with quotes found on the internet… anything found on the internet.  How can we be sure the luminary said what the beautiful graphics on quotation websites attribute them as saying?  In my case, I simply trust the websites which is a bit risky.  Case in point, in my New Year's Day 2025 post, I wanted to include a quote attributed to Albert Einstein: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  It is beautiful and direct.  The problem is that it has never been verified he ever wrote or said this.  But dang if Albert Einstein doesn’t give the good quote more gravity and force then say Rita Mae Brown who actually first uttered the phrase.  Rita Mae who?  Get the idea?  Rita Mae Brown is a civil rights, feminist, and LGBT activist and writer.  She has a reputation but nowhere near that of Einstein’s.

The New Republic addressed the same issue in a December 29, 2015 article by Alex Shephard, “’It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble,’ which must be why The Big Short opens with a fake Mark Twain quote.”  The article claims that the closest that Mark Twain ever came to this was, “Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.”  It also attributes a different version of the quote to one Josh Billings (1818-1885), a humorist and lecturer.  The New Republic article noted that the quote used by Michael Lewis in his book, on which the movie is based, is from Leo Tolstoy in a 1897 essay, “The Kingdom of God is Within You.” 

The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him.

The New Republic article states that the Tolstoy quote is good but cumbersome to the one falsely attributed to Mark Twain. 

So why the fake quote?  Movies need something move things along and quotes need to be  pithy.  The Tolstoy quote has 55 words, the questionable Twain quote has 21.  Who’s going to read the longer more complex quote that takes longer to read and digest than the shorter folksier easier to digest fake Twain quote.  A post on reddit noted, “This is done to show that people will make things up and you will believe them. Just as the big banks and ratings agencies did before the Financial Crisis of 2008.”  This sounds like as good a theory as any. 

Of course there is my favorite quote of all time…

 

Thank you, Pauline Getzoyan

 

Recently in an email exchange with Pauline Getzoyan about a piece I had written for the Weekly, she closed her email with, “I have some news to share with you and I’d rather tell you over the phone than via email.” Having been around the corporate and organizational block a few times, I knew she was going to tell me she was stepping down as the editor of the Weekly.

I got a little sad. 

Part of the sadness was the unknown about who would take over, what their leadership style would be, where they might want to take the paper, et cetera, yev eylin. It is a natural part of the change and turnover that occurs with greater frequency these days. We have to get used to it and manage. Heck, I have worked in fields where the job was to change and improve organizations. Change is inevitable.

The greater part of the sadness was simply that Pauline was so good at being the editor of the Weekly.  She was easy — actually, wonderful — to work with. Working on the AYF Olympics Special Issue with her for five years was a great pleasure. We met as a team, and there was constant communication between the writers and editorial staff. It was more collaborative than ever, and that is not to take anything away from previous editors. With Pauline, it was just more of a joy.

Pauline has made the print edition cleaner and more visually appealing. The website has become a vibrant go-to news source with more original content. Her leadership style and team-building skills are exemplary.

Pauline is the kind of editor who nurtures and encourages writers and contributors. She edits to make the writing better, not just to cut content to accommodate a layout. She asks questions and provides feedback in a way that not only makes you a better writer but also makes you want to write more. This last skill is truly a gift. It cannot be taught in any school. It is an innate trait. 

Pauline presided over the paper in very tough times for the Armenian nation: the Artsakh war of 2020, the ensuing blockade and the fall of the Republic of Artsakh in 2023. We talked about these sad events and existential implications for the Republic of Armenia. These events weighed heavily on her heart, as they did for many of us. Pauline led her team and kept us all informed with reporting online and in print. She also knew how important it was to help our community, the readers of the Weekly, regroup and appreciate what it means to be Armenian in the Diaspora. She sought out and encouraged articles that focused on this, as well.

James Mandalian, Jimmy Tashjian and Khatchig Mouradian were great editors and stewards of the Hairenik Weekly and Armenian Weekly. They all had longer tenures, but Pauline’s contribution in five short years puts her right up there with these editors. 

In each and every AYF Olympic Ad Book, Mal Varadian’s family presents his tenet and charge for all of us: “Make it better than it was.” I think Pauline has indeed “made it better than it was.”  Brava and thank you, Pauline. 

--

Originally published in the Armenian Weekly

New Year's Day 2025

A beautiful sentiment
sent by my friend Mike Adajian

 

It is the start of a new year… another new year. 

As of today, we are a quarter of the way through this 21^st century. 

Traditionally, I would be writing about all the things I want to do and accomplish this year.  Over time, that has been less and less the theme of these New Year’s Day posts.

In 2019, I posted my New Year piece on January 3^rd.  It was titled In the Time of Your Life.  It focused on the prelude to William Saroyan’s award-winning play, The Time of Your Life.  Like many a great writer, Saroyan’s were impactful and probably something I should read more often, at least every New Year’s Day.  Saroyan’s words put this whole thing into a perspective that resonates with me. 

My 2020 post was written two months before the COVID-19 Pandemic hit and disrupted everything.  The Dawn of a New Year and Decade was more reflective and full of the contentment and joy that comes from hanging out with one’s grandchildren.  Later that year, my hopeful naivete really shined in a May 1, 2020 post, Contagion: Promise of Utopia?  I really thought there was a chance that impact of the pandemic would unite us all.  Talk about naivete.

Was it folly or wrong to be hopeful?  It was certainly a normative perspective… focus on the way things should be rather than the way things are.  It is folly for not knowing it was a normative aspiration.  It is never folly for being hopeful.  Hope, dreams, aspirations drive the world.  This happens on a global scale and for each of us in our personal communities. 

What am I getting at here?

That is a really good question.

It is the dawn of a new year.  It is an arbitrary marker, but it is marker like one’s birthday, and the start of a new school year.  It is a good time to reflect and assess where one is and where we want to be.  It is a good time as any to set some goals, resolutions, whatever you want to call them.  They may be new goals or goals that you have set many times but have not made much progress at.  It is OK to be hopeful for yourself.  Try again.  To paraphrase Winston Churchull, “Never give up.”  Remember the words of the great comedic sage, Jerome “Curly” Howard (or a script writer): “If at first you don’t succeed, keep on sucking until you do succeed.”  It’s also good to keep the words attributed to Albert Einstein in mind, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Honestly, these New Year’s hopes and resolutions are for the most part personal, about ourselves.  Sure, over the holidays we tend to thing on a larger scale when wishing for Peace on Earth.  New Year’s Day signals the end of the holidays that began with Thanksgiving.  We prepare ourselves to return to work in earnest and set personal goals for ourselves include the infamous resolutions.  The resolutions are filled with dedication and hope on New Year’s Day even though most are quickly forgotten in a few weeks.

Today, this first day of 2025, a violent act in New Orleans forced a larger, global, perspective in today’s reflections and planning.  In the early hours of the morning, a rented truck drove into the reveling crowds of Bourbon St. and killed at least 15 and injured 35.  The gunman had an ISIS flag in the truck.  The FBI is considering this an act of terrorism and suspect it was not a sole act.  Hours later, a rented Tesla Cyber Truck started smoking, caught fire, and exploded outside a Trump Hotel in Las Vegas.

This only reminds us on this day of setting personal objectives and resolutions that we need to think globally as well.  The wars in the Middle East and Ukraine, the starvation and displacement issues in Gaza and the Sudan were brought front of mind today with these violent acts.  The setting of personal goals and resolutions were shelved worrying about the dangerous state of world we live and how we might realize that utopian goal of Peace on Earth.

      If only…

Happy New Year: Michigan 19 - Alabama 13

 

This post, written on December 31^st, should be a reflection on this year, 2024, that is coming to a close.  It is not.  Maybe, I will pen a New Year’s post tomorrow morning.

Today?  I wasn’t quite sure.  I started watching the Michigan bowl game and as the game progressed, well, it became my topic.

Michigan is playing Alabama in the ReliaQuest Bowl in Tampa… formerly known as the Hall of Fame Bowl.  While many of the other bowl games not in the National Championship Series have very few fans in the stands, this game looks to be well attended.  Michigan is a 16-point underdog.  This is due to the fact a lot more Michigan stalwarts opted not to play in this game because they had decided to enter the NFL Draft.  This was not as big a problem for Bama, as a most of their players who could have opted out wanted another shot at Michigan after their Rose Bowl loss, 27-20, in overtime on January 1^st of this year.

As a result, Michigan was a 16-point underdog.  Just like in the Ohio State game, everyone expected Michigan to lose.  But because of what we did in the Ohio State game, the Michigan fans I know understood the logic of point spread but had more faith in this Michigan. 

While many of the other bowl games not in the National Championship Series have very few fans in the stands, this game was very well attended by the faithful fans of each school.

Alabama took the opening kickoff, got a couple of first downs.  Then they went for it on 4^th down and Michigan stopped them and took over on downs.  Michigan drove down to the Alabama 27 and kicked a field goal to take a 3-0 lead.  As soon as they kicked the field goal, a rainstorm started.  During that rain and eventual torrential downpour, Alabama fumbled and Michigan got a another field goal.  Michigan intercepted Alabama and scored a touchdown.  Michigan recovered another fumble and got another first down.  In the rain the Alabama backs and ends were slipping and falling when they made their cuts.  At the end of the 1^st quarter, Michigan had 2 first downs, 43 total yards of total offense.  Alabama has 2 first downs and -2 yards of total offense.  The score was Michigan 16, Alabama 0.

The 2^nd quarter was different.  The rain stopped.  Alabama stopped turning the ball over and regained their footing.  The Michigan offense was stymied by the Alabama defense.  Reminiscent of the Michigan - Ohio State game, the Alabama offense showed their explosiveness with 6 minutes left in the quarter.  Starting at their own 29, they scored a touchdown in just four plays that included a run of 28 yards and a 25-yard touchdown pass.  Michigan took the ball, got two first downs, and then had to punt it away.  Michigan downed the punt on the Alabama 4-yard line with only 58 seconds left in the half.  With back-to-back plays, Alabama quarterback Jalen Milroe ran for 41 yards and then passed for 40.  Alabama was first and goal at the 6-yard line with less than 20 seconds on the clock.  Michigan’s defense pressured them into three incomplete passes and held them to a field goal.  The score at halftime:  16-10.

The third quarter of the Michigan – Alabama was scoreless.  Both defenses played, dug in and played very tough.  Again, it was reminiscent of the Ohio State game.

The fourth quarter of the ReliaQuest Bowl was a nail biter.  The quarter opened with Michigan having the ball.  Michigan punted to Alabama who drove to the Michigan 36  and turned It over on downs for a second time.  Michigan took over and ran the ball on eight plays down to the Alabama 19 where they kicked a field goal.   With a score of 19-10 and 7:21 left on the clock, Alabama needed to score twice to win.  They began their next drive they drove 47 yards in eight plays to the Michigan 33 where they kicked a 51-yard field goal to make it a 19-13 game.  Michigan then got a first down and then had to punt.  A return of 38 yards put Alabama on their own 44 with 2:18 left in the game.  In six plays, Alabama was 1^st and 10 at the Michigan 15 with about 1 minute left in the game.  The Michigan defense dug and after forcing four incomplete passes Michigan took over on downs for a third time in this game.  As Alabama was out of time outs, Michigan took a knee on two snaps and ended the game.

As noted above, this game was very reminiscent of the Michigan – Ohio State game just a month ago.  Michigan controlled the time of possession, ran the ball, and kept Alabama’s explosive offense off the field.  When that offense was on the field, Michigan’s defense held them to 13 points.  We made them play our game.

We beat Alabama twice this year.  We beat them on January 1, 2024 in the Rose Bowl and again today, December 31, 2024, in the ReliaQuest Bowl.  We are the only team to beat Alabama twice in one year.  We lead the series with them 4-3.

This Michigan team did not look good earlier in this season.  They lost to Texas, Washington, Oregon, Illinois, and Indiana.  Before the Northwestern game, it was not clear if we would be bowl eligible.  Then we ran the table beating NW, Ohio State, and, today, Alabama.  As the year progressed, the offensive line started to gel.  We settled on Davis Warren as quarterback who went from worrisome to a very gutsy OK.  As the offense started to eat up the clock, the defense was fresher for the whole and realized their potential.  We ended up the season as a pretty good football team. 

Things are looking pretty good for Michigan Football in 2025.  Go Blue.

Happy New Year!  A prosperous, healthy, and happy 2025 to one and all.

Ouds, Guitars, Horses, and Camels

 

The older I get the more I like cowboy movies.  I first noticed and wrote about this trend in 2011:  Old Westerns.

In some of the lighter movies I have watched, I noticed that several of them have the same flaw/dichotomy.  A few drifters or cowboys traveling by horseback make camp and under the starry night in the glow of the campfire, one of the cowboys is playing the guitar and singing for the others.  The flaw?  The dilemma?  Where the heck did the guitar come from?  This guy is traversing the prairie or high desert on horseback in one scene with no guitar visible on any the horses.  The next minute, after dinner one suddenly appears and disappears again when they hit the trail again the next morning.  In some movies, where the cowboys are driving cattle and there is a chuck wagon as part of the crew, I can see where a guitar could make the trip with the pots, pans, and provisions.  

Where did the guitar come from?  The same place the change of clothes come from which I am guessing is the script.  How much stuff can one cowpoke tote along one horse?  The clear answer is not much.  After a bed roll, some food, guns, ammo, maybe a coat… there is no room for a guitar.  I could see a harmonica but not a guitar.  Plus, trail dust, the hot sun and cold nights, rain and snow, and the general jostling about associated with riding horses is not the best environment for a guitar.  I would imagine they would warp, crack, and break quite often. 

 

No matter if it is rooted in reality or Hollywood, the guitar playing cowboy atop a horse is an icon.  Does the same apply to other cultures and eras?  Troubadours certainly travelled with a lyre, fiddle, flute, or lute like instrument.  They might travel by horseback where the main purpose was music not herding cattle, robbing trains, or fighting Indians.  Again, this has been influenced by Hollywood as well.  Think of the Will Scarlett character in Robin Hood (1938) toting a lute like thing around when not engaged in battle.

Does it apply to the Middle East?  Is there any lore, legend, or history of oud players on horse or camelback?  There is none that I know but then I am not well-versed in the films of the region.  If guitars don’t travel well on horseback, the oud being more delicate would be a bigger challenge.  In times of yore, it probably was not the chosen instrument of troubadours who travelled on foot or by donkey, horse, or camel.

I have come acress two photos of Armenians on horseback holding ouds.  One was Lilit Karapetyan (1963-2006) considered the first female oud player in Armenia SSR.  There is a nice biography of her in January 26, 2022 article in The Armenian Weekly:  Armenian Women Artists.  I could only find two clips of her playing.  Both are on Instagram.  These clips are from a concert at Komitas State Conservatory of Yerevan, 1992. The concert was presented in memory of her teacher, Karapet Aristakesyan.  She played classical music in these clips.  The notes in one of the posts claims that the full concert is on YouTube, but I could not find it.  I would love the story of how she came to take that photo with her oud on horseback.

• Clip 1:  Lilit playing the oud using like a classical guitar.
• Clip 2:  Lilit playing "Fantasía" by Anushavan Ter-Ghevondyan.
  

Lastly is my favorite photo. Richard Boyajian uses this very cool photo of him on horseback taken in Montana in 2011 as his Facebook profile photo.  While we are Facebook friends, I do not believe I have ever met him nor have I heard him play the oud.  Why is this my favorite photo?  I am not really sure.  I think I like it because it is cleary Armenian and clearly with an oud, but it is also a cowboy style photo at the same time. 

 

 

Lest We get to full of Our Motivated Selves

 

Yesterday’s post was the nth addressing, perhaps rehashing is a better word, of motivational and inspirational quotes.  As I wrote, this is an area of fascination for me.  Another way to explain it could be an obsession.  Nah, I would never dedicate the amount of time to this to be anywhere close to obsessive about it.

It is clear that motivational quotes, solely, are not the primary driver of change in lifestyle or other self-improvements.  If they were, the Nike adage of ‘Just Do It’ would be all anyone would need.  Heck, we would be a world of perfect humans if that were the case.  The only thing for certain is that Nike sold a lot of shoes and other swoosh adorned clothes and accessories with this tagline.

Earlier this year, in one of those ‘where did the time go’ scrolling through reels sessions, I came across a delightful one:  Demotivational quotes for people who hate inspirational quotes.  I was laughing out loud.  I sent the link to others who would find it just as hilarious.  Here are the demotivational quotes in this reel:

• Smile every day…  as a daily reminder that your life is still a joke.
• Do something nice for someone today.  Leave them alone.  Life is hard enough without your bullshit.
• Don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do.  That’s a job for your insecurities.
• There’s no limit of what you can be… if you lie to yourself.
• Meditate every day… so you can become an even better selfish bastard.
• It gets better… for a minute or so every now and then.

These are all brilliant and funny.  It is a bucket splash of cold water to anyone worried about their ability to get and stay motivated.  In making light of it all, they remind us not to be too hard on ourselves if the progress is not clipping along as briskly as we might want.

These reels and others come from a website - Sad and Useless Humor:  The most depressive humor site on the internet.  Their About tab says, “SadAndUseless.com was created in 2009 as a sad attempt at humor. And to this day it still is the same old useless site it was meant to be.”  The website is full of content of various attempts at sad and useless humor.  Examples include:

• AI-Generated Gallery: Dogs Pooping In Beautiful Places
• Creepy Santa Photos: Scary Vintage Christmas Gallery
• AI-Generated Images of Advanced Yoga Poses

The demotivational series of videos and reels are all wonderful.  Many of the other posts are more sad and useless than actually humorous.  Sure, there were some amusing chuckles here and there.  But I suppose the website is true to its name.  With a name like Sad and Useless Humor, they can post just about anything they want (kind of like this blog when I am in my ‘blog about nothing’ mood).

It was easier to find the demotivational videos and short on their YouTube Channel than on their website.  They also have 2025 Horoscopes on the channel as well.  Being a Cancer, my horoscope was:

Try not to take this personally but you will continue to be an insufferable prick in 2025.  Thinking that you know everything better than everyone doesn’t make you smart or interesting.  It just makes you delusional and unlikeable.  You will never learn to shut up, will you?  Not in 2025, not in 2026.  Not ever.

So, I got this going for me…

Here are some more demotivational quotes:

• If at first, you don’t succeed… it’s probably never going to happen.
• If you never believe in yourself… you will never let yourself down.
• True love is when two people… lower their standards just the right amount.
• If you’ll keep following your dreams… they’re going to file a restraining order.
• Before you love someone else, you have to learn to love yourself… so there’s no chance of that happening.
• The best things in life… are actually really expensive.
• Don’t hate someone for what they look like on the outside… hate them for what a piece of shit they are on the inside.
• Enjoy the good times… because some terrible is probably about to happen.
• Life is hard… but at least it’s also long and boring. 
• One of the best things you can do in life… is shut the hell up occasionally.
• It’s a beautiful day… to eat leftovers over the trashcan like a damn racoon.

Let me close with the same closing I used in my January 18, 2018 post:  Resolution Update.  It kind of fits here. 

I have often downplayed the Nike slogan. But, maybe it is right. In a 2011 movie, Friends with Benefits, Woody Harrelson played Justin Timberlakes boss. At one point near the end, the Woody character gave the following little sermon:

Hey, everybody wants a short cut in life.  My guide book is very simple:  You wanna lose weight? Stop eating, fatty!  You wanna make money?  Work your ass off, lazy!You wanna be happy?  Find someone you like and never let him go. Or her

Or as Yoda said, “Do or do not. There is no try.”  So I should lace-up my physical and mental Nike's and Just Do It.

Motivational Quotes Revisited… Yet Again

 

Pythagoras and Mae West

Any reader of this blog knows that I am prone to use quotes to emphasize points and, more so, when I am writing about motivation and self-improvement.  It might be a genetic thing.  My great Uncle Rouben Gavoor used to collect such quotes and even had a column in The Armenian Weekly, As They Saw It, in which he would share the quotes he had collected.

I wish I had asked him about this and the root of his fascination with quotes, but my interest in such developed after he passed away.  Thus, I can only speak for myself.  Where Uncle Rouben favored quotes by great statesmen and leaders of movements and countries.  My interest is more personal.  I am interested in self-improvement and continuous improvement.  Being an advocate of continuous improvement in the workplace for my entire career, it is clear that motivation is a necessary part.  It is a most necessary part at the beginning when an organization is taking its first tenuous steps in the transformation of the culture.  It is also clear that it is not sufficient, motivation is much more helpful in the beginning than in the long haul. 

If we liken this to the field of economics where that discipline is divided into macro and microeconomics.  Uncle Rouben’s was interested in quotations in the macro sense:  the world and nations.  My interest in both economics and quotations is definitely micro:  firms, households, and individuals.  My interest in quotes attributed to the famous, near famous, and the relatively unknown have become more and more micro over time.  That is simply I am at the me, myself, and I level i.e. self-improvement.  I also believe I am better at helping organizations change and improve, rather than myself. 

So, I am looking for the right motivational quotes to help myself get going and improve just about everything I do.  And to boot, I have the classic cognitive bias of believing that once found, the right motivational quote will in the flip of a switch place me immediately on the right path and keep me from ever wavering.  Heck, I should be collecting quotes on folly and delusion (insert a rolling on the floor laughing emoji here).

Like most interests, avocations, and hobbies, the internet, specifically Google and now AI, has enabled and accelerated my fascination with motivational quotes beyond anything I would have done on my own.  Websites like BrainyQuotes, A-Z Quotes and others have been amazingly helpful.  Lately, there are reels galore that collect and post the motivational wisdom of the ages with video, music, and AI narration that intensify the impact of the quotes even more.  Here is an example of quotes from one such reel I ran across in September.  Sadly, I did not copy the URL for it.  There are eight quotes though none of the quotes were attributed to who said or wrote them.  Google AI helped with the attributions:

1. Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe ~ Mark Twain
2. Almost nothing material is needed for a happy life for he who understood existence. ~ Marcus Aurelius
3. We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. ~ Seneca
4. No man is free that cannot control himself. ~ Pythagoras
5. True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.  ~ Seneca.
6. It may seem difficult at first, but all things are difficult at first. ~ Miyamoto Musashi
7. No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen. ~ Alan Watts
8. Everyone must choose one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. ~ Jim Rohn
   

This morning, I saw this reel from The Wise Said - 9 of the smartest quotes ever said:

1. Care what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner. ~ Lao Tzu
2. It is never too late to be what you might have been. ~ George Eliot
3. Our life is what our thoughts make it. ~ Marcus Aurelius
4. Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge. ~ Carl Jung
5. We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. ~ Seneca
6. A fool is known by speech and a wise man by silence. ~ Pythagoras
7. If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room. ~ Confucius
8. The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear. ~ Rumi
9. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~ Mae West
   

Many of these are very good.  I like the quotes from Seneca, Pythagoras, Marcus Aurelius, Lao Tzu, and Mark Twain.  I wonder how Mae West made the list with this beautiful quote that can be interpreted both from a stoic and a libertine perspective. 

Lastly Jim Rohn and Miyamoto Musashi, acknowledge the reality of what I called the ‘long haul’ in any change process .  The pain and difficulty they speak of it the effort to stay the course until the desired goal or becomes a routine modus operandi displacing the old… the pain of discipline versus the pain of regret… the trade-off of what you want right now for what you want long term.  This is and has been my lifelong challenge. Per George Eliot, it is never too late to change.

Christmas 2024: A Somber Christmas

 

Not this year..

It is Christmas morning.  It has been my recent habit to rise early and write a reflection on the joy of this holiday and this season.  I focus on family and friends and the glow of Christmas as we celebrate it in the Northern climes. 

Not this year.

Our house is usually fully decorated, inside and out.  We have a minimum of three trees and have had as many as five.  My wife’s design and efforts in this regard are nonpareil.  The photos I have included in my Christmas posts of yore easily support my claim that our home, decorated for Christmas, could have been featured in a magazine spread on Christmas décor festivities.  I have to reemphasize that my wife, in this regard, is the artist and our home is her canvas. 

But not this year. 

This year our Christmas décor is one Christmas wreath on the front door.

Christmas Eve is usually a warm and festive gathering at our home.  The gatherings range from 30 to 50 family and friends.  We have our priest bless the house in the centuries old Armenian tradition.  We feast on sumptuous hors d'oeuvres, dishes, and desserts in the grand Armenian American tradition.  At the end of the evening, we gather around the piano to sing carols and have someone read The Night Before Christmas. 

But not this year. 

This year there were just four of us dining on Christmas at a fine local restaurant.

What is the reason for this much more somber Christmas?

We are mourning for my wife’s mother, Mary, who passed away on December 10 peacefully after a beautiful life of 96 years.  Here is her obituary.

In 2010, when my father-in-law, Harold, my uncle Ozzie, and my aunt Seeran passed away.  As they passed in June and July, we were able to celebrate Christmas five months later. 

But not this year. 

Fifteen days were clearly not enough for us.  We were not able to do anything more than we did. 

When any family member passes, there is always a hole in our hearts.  We miss them even more at holidays, birthdays, weddings, baptisms, and graduations.  After the period of mourning, the grief subsides though the hole remains, but at these very gatherings we remember them still.  We remember them with fondness.  We talk about how they would so enjoy being with us for whatever occasion we are gathered.

Next year, Christmas will hopefully be the norm.  It should be more what we are used to and have come to expect.  My mother-in-law will be with us for sure.  She will be in our hearts and minds, we will reflect on our departed matriarch and just how she loved Christmas and the traditions she helped forge that will, hopefully, last for generations.  She set the tone for this holiday for our family.  She created indelible memories for all of us especially our children.  My wife and daughter have taken the torch from this grand lady and carry it forth proudly and adding to what was already grand.

While mom has passed, there is no doubt her spirit and example will be us forever.  That spirit and example will shine brightly… but certainly it will be brightest at Christmastime.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

A Post Inspired by my Talented Friend Abdo

 

 On November 15, 2024, a friend, Abdo Timejardine-Zomeño, I know from the University of Chicago Middle Eastern Music Ensemble posted something that caught my eye and piqued my interest.  This is the second time a posting from Abdo prompted a blog post from me.  The first was Navigating the Seas of Stress and Struggle.

Abdo is a very thoughtful, bright, and talented college student.  He is a senior at the University of Illinois – Chicago.  He will be graduating with a double major:  a Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering and a Bachelor of Music in Clarinet Performance.  Abdo is clearly blessed with innate right-brain and left-brain aptitudes and has dedicated his undergraduate education to exploring and nurturing both.  Abdo is a very talented musician and has taken up conducting and composing as well.  He posts a lot about the various music ensembles he plays with and the conferences he attends.  Abdo had a successful engineering internship this summer in Wisconsin that he enjoyed and thrived at.  www.abtizomusic.com is his music website.

So, what was his post about on the ides of November?  Here is the excerpt of a longer post:

Today's been one of those days where I have underlying anxiety around graduating. I feel like at no point throughout any of my education, high school included, was I ever advised correctly or given the tools needed to be successful. I had to figure much of this out on my own. I don't believe in blaming others for my own shortcomings, but how are you supposed to ask the right questions when you aren't even provided the right information to begin with?

Anyway, all of this to say. I believe in education. We never stop learning. I don't expect it to get any easier. Especially since I am considering graduate school much later on. I just hope when that stage arrives, it won't feel like I'm trying to navigate an empty rainforest at night with just a pocketknife and the last remaining batteries for my flashlight.

 Here is my comment on his post:

Abdo. I kinda believe figuring it out on your own is a critical part of the journey. It helps define you. There are plenty of people giving advice, which to some extent is nothing more than what worked for them. This can be helpful but only if it resonates with you.

Who’s doing what you are doing in terms of music and engineering and wanting to explore photography and who knows what else.

You’re kind of a renaissance man. Embrace it but know there only a select few that can guide you and their guidance is based on their own journey.

Go forth and be amazing

 My fifteen-year teaching career in my 'so called' retirement has taught me a few things.  First, an important and rarely discussed part of a college education is for students to learn time and task management.  There are countless methods and processes for time and task management.  The methods are available in innumerable books and videos and supported by any variety of software applications and paper planning calendars.  Which one is the best?  The answer is simple; the one that works best for you.  In college, students should find the method that works for them. Abdo is right about one thing.  We provide some of the best software tools but never provide any instruction about how to use them and the plusses and minuses of each.  in my experience, we let the students fend for themselves to determine how to manage task and time.  There is wide variation in how good students are at doing this.

Secondly, all students need mentors.  These are not people telling young folks what to do but are more so sounding boards who listen well before responding.  A good mentor also provides an example of what to do rather than a sermon on what to do.  Students whose parents went to college have an advantage in this regard though not all such students take advantage of this.  Mentors can be anyone from other students, to professors, to summer job supervisors, to friends of the family.  Just like in the case of time and task management, there is no guidebook for the networking skills to meet new people who may become acquaintances a few of whom might develop into mentors.  Again, students are on their own to develop and refine these skills. 

Lastly, in the case of Abdo.  Who is in a position to advise and mentor a music and engineering double major on how to navigate the beautiful career choices he is facing.  There are certainly those that can provide guidance in one or the other disciplines, but who can help him decide which fork in the road to take?  Robert Frost talked about exactly this in The Road Not Taken but offers nothing to someone like Abdo who has come to a fork in the road in “an empty rainforest at night with just a pocketknife and the last remaining batteries for my flashlight.”  As I said in my comment on his Facebook post: You're a renaissance man.  Embrace it but know there only a select few that can guide you... Go forth and be amazing

The Road Not Taken
By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim.
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The Poetry Foundation