Monday, August 1, 2011

A Revolutionary New Approach to Walking?!?

Like so many people, my e-mail box is cluttered with more junk mail than my snail mail box ever was.  If I showed any interest in any company for any reason at any time, I am on their email list get weekly, daily, and even multiple daily updates on this offer or that.  The number of lowest price ever and best deal ever mail I get from the same company is kind of surprising. 

I am somehow, for some reason, on the mailing list of Prevention Magazine.  It is no doubt a sister publication of some magazine I already subscribe to.  Scrolling down to the bottom of the email revealed that Prevention is from Rodale Press the publisher of Bicycle Magazine of which I am an avid reader.

This email offered a method to lose 22.5 pounds in just 8 weeks by just walking it off.  It sounded pretty cool so I read on, I mean who wouldn't want to lose 22.5 lbs in less than two months?  I could use some of that for sure.

But the secret I discovered was NOT the ordinary kind of walking — it is a revolutionary NEW approach to walking from the editors of Prevention magazine.

A revolutionary new approach to walking... wow.  Who would of thought?  A Revolutionary and New Approach to Walking!  I started laughing and was curious at the same time.  Mostly, though, I knew I was just given a topic to write about. 

People have been walking for a long time.  They have been walking since God created Adam.   Or depending upon your lack of religiosity, men have been walking around since the first simian stood up and became a proto-sapien, if there is even such a creature.  In my short time, short that is relative to the history of man, I have seen a variety of strides, gaits, limps, saunters, and sashays.  I have seen bold cocky jock walks.  I have seen dainty ultra-feminine glides.  I have seen drunken sways, old shuffles, and the tip-toe gleeful walk-runs of infants.  I have seen the mournful walk of grieving family and friends leaving a burial.  I have walked both a daughter down an aisle and a bride back the other way.   I have seen the inimitable Bill Cosby do an entire schtick on the way the kids walk across the stage at their high school graduations.  I have seen retirees walk the malls in the mornings.  I have marveled at and never really understood race walkers.   

So, what is this Revolutionary New Approach to Walking that will result in the loss of 22.5 pounds in two months?  Walking on ones hands for two months would be kind of revolutionary and I am certain that discipline and physical exertion required to do such would result in a loss of weight for sure.  The only question I have is how many people can actually walk on their hands.  The people I know that can are already lean and in great shape. 

So, what is this revolutionary approach?  I followed the link to the website and learned a little bit more.  The Revolutionary Approach is something they are calling Interval Walking.  I am sure, it is similar to interval training in running, biking, and swimming that builds strength, endurance, muscle, and burns calories.  I suppose it will give a regimen that includes a sensible eating plan.  All of these hyperbole laden offers seem to include a phrase, or caveat, of "when accompanied by a sensible eating plan."  I can see many other "revolutionary" programs that could be offered:

  A revolutionary approach to eating:  Our scientists have proven that the less you eat and the more you move, the less you will weigh!

  A revolutionary approach to getting into the college of your dreams:  Our psychological staff has developed an unprecedented 12 year program of doing all your homework and more to get you into one of the top 100 colleges in the United States.  Yes, thats right, one of the top ONE HUNDRED colleges in the old US of A.

What would be revolutionary would be a method that would truly change ones mindset and prevent the backsliding that many of us are so good at.  I would pay for something that I could follow and permanently change my lifestyle without either drugs or pavlovian torture methods.  Anyone who came up with something like this could be an instant Nobel Prize winner and most probably wealthy.

I went to the website, following the link in the mail.  The thing is like an onion.  The first page basically regurgitated the information in the body of the email.  There was no price.  I clicked on the "more information" button and was directed to another page that wanted my name, address, email, etc. before it would proceed and still no pricing.  I did not fill out the form, I was not curious enough about the price to have to deal with getting duplicates of all the emails I currently get from Rodale. 

I did learn that, whatever the price, I would have 20 days to evaluate the program and return it if I was not satisfied.  They also offered an mp3 player gratis to sweeten the pot.   Wow, the program was not only a Revolutionary New Approach to Walking but I could try it for free and get an mp3 player to boot.  I was at the point that I did not care about the price.   I just wanted in on this deal.  I wanted to walk like the revolutionary that I think that am.  I want to walk listening to the music that I like.  I would pay for the walking but the music would be free.  It sounds kind of backwards but, what the heck, it is 2011 and I should be ridding myself of old thinking that is weighing me down.

Alas, I had not actually read the top line of the email.  The revolutionary approach to walking and losing 22.5 pounds in just 8 weeks seems to be only for women.  Dang.


  1. I invented this week a new approach to swimming for those having pain in lumbar.. it is side-stroke swimming, using one arm only, swinging the legs like a dolphin's tail.. it helped me.