Free Kafka

It was final exam day for my Introductory Statistics Course.  It is 7 am.  The exam was to begin at 8 am.  I was going early to answer any questions the students might have.  I entered Carlson Tower and saw a table with a few books on it and a sign that simply said “Free.”

I like books.  I like free.  This was what they call a win-win for me.  The choices were scant.  I picked up a thin paperback, The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.  At first, I thought it was a Cliff Notes or equivalent for the book.  For some reason, I expected a weighty tome from Kafka.  It was not.  It was either a long short story of 52 pages or a short novel.  Having never read any Kafka and always meaning to, I took this book.  I was happy to be able to sample Kafka for free.

As the students were taking the exam, I read the first line of the story:  “One morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams he himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin.”   Alrighty then.  This might explain why I have never read any Kafka before.  

It made be think that this might be a more modern version of what the great ancient Chinese philosopher Chuang Tsu noted after waking from a dream in which he was a butterfly.  “Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.”  This I like and understood.  Relativity.  Frame of reference.  etc.  Was Kafka resurrecting this notion albeit in a more absurd or existential framework.

Before reading another sentence, I it seemed appropriate to read a little about my man of the hour Franz Kafka.  He was born in Prague in 1884 and died in Austria, at the age of 40, in 1924.  Kafka’s father was overbearing and demanding both in his business and running his family.  Apparently Kafka was not very fond of this treatment.  He complied in terms of education in which he became an attorney and in his profession as an officer in an insurance company.  He rebelled in his writing and turning his back on his Jewish faith which was important to his father. He spoke and wrote in German.  Kafka preferred that he could write full time instead toiling at his day job.  He became a socialist but was still fascinated with Yiddish literature and the spiritually in and around it.  A few of his works were published while he was alive but the bulk published posthumously by his friend Max Brod who ignored Kafka’s request that his writing all be burned.  Fame came to Kafka with the Brod publications.  The term Kafkaesque came to generalize his style which influenced both Albert Camus, Jean Paul Sartre, and others.  He contracted tuberculosis in 1917 which put him in and out of sanitariums until the disease finally ended his life in 1924.

I read the story and it is very well written, even in translation.  It is a vehicle for Kafka to express his own discomfort with his business and family life.  He expresses his own despair through Gregor dealing with his metamorphosis.   He definitely writes in a most Kafkaesque manner.  It is easy to see to the roots of existentialism in his writing.

Now, I can say I have read some Kafa and I am glad I did.  I can also say that I probably will not be reading anymore Kafka anytime soon.  

Next up Nietzsche!

Getting my FOID

Every once in a while, I have thought about owning a gun.  Really, that is about as far as it goes.  I am not a hunter or a marksman.  So, there is no reason to have a gun.  The outlay of money to buy one (and which kind of gun would I purchase) and the planning of where and how to safely store both gun and ammunition simply overwhelms whatever notion I occasionally have to own one. 

I have friends and relatives that have more than one.  Whatever else they own them and use them for, they all will add home security to the list.  Sure, I have thought of that, but really what is the risk?  What is the real probability that I would ever need a gun to protect home and family?  Compound that with the probability that I could get to said gun, unlock the cabinet, retrieve the ammunition which is presumably in the same place but possibly locked in another box, load the weapon, and then effectively use it.   I have believe we are talking about a really low probability that probably gets lower with each passing year.

Plus I subscribe to the Mike Royko theory of home defense.  In a column back in the 1970s or 80s, Royko queried why someone would keep a gun for home defense.  He laid out a scenario for his thesis.  A homeowner is woken at night by the sound of a prowler downstairs. The fellow grabs his gun that he has rarely used, loads it, and goes downstairs in his skivvies to confront a bad guy.  The bad guy may have a gun and, as crime is his chosen profession, may be more proficient and adept at using it.  The outcome?  One dead homeowner.  Royko reasoned that it was, therefore, better to keep a couple of hand grenades in the nightstand.  Instead of putting himself in harms way, our homeowner would simply pull the pins and toss a couple of grenades down the stairs to clear out the area.  Voila... one dead bad guy instead of our intrepid homeowner.

With the recent debate in both social media and congress on gun control.  I was thinking that this country might actually pass legislation to curtail gun ownership.  All of sudden, I was thinking:

Hey!  I don't really want or need a gun.  But if you tell me I can't or should not have one, I am more motivated to go out and get one... dagnabit!

So I did what I have to do in Illinois before I can actually buy a gun, I applied for a Firearms Ownership Identification Card (FOID Card).  I filled out the form that is conveniently available in any gun shop,  affixed a photo as prescribed, attached a $10 check, and mailed it to the state police.  I can expect my FOID card in the next 60 days or so.  It seems like there is a backlog as there has been a rush of other citizens who are thinking just like me.

I probably still will not buy a gun, but I will have my card to be able to do so whenever I might want. 

The part that thoroughly has entertained are the ten questions they asked on the one page FOID application.

1.    Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

2.    In the past 5 years, have you been a patient in a mental institution or any medical facility used primarily for the care or treatment of persons for mental illness?

3.    Are you addicted to narcotics?

4.    Are you intellectually disabled?

5.    Are you subject to an existing order of protections which prohibits you from possessing a firearm?

6.    Within the past 5 years, have you been convicted of battery, assault, aggravated assault, violation of an order of protection, or a substantially similar offense in which a firearm was used or possessed?

7.    Have you ever been convicted of domestic battery or a substantially similar offense (misdemeanor or felony)?

8.    Have you ever been adjudicated a delinquent minor for the commission of an offense that if committed by an adult would be a felony?

9.    Are you an alien who is unlawfully present in the United States?

10. Have you ever been adjudicated as a mental defective?

This sounds exactly like what the folks that are advocating a greater degree of gun control are trying to screen for.  The State of Illinois seems to be already doing that.  We could be a model for the rest of the US except for the fact I am fairly certain it does not work.  Law abiding citizens, like me, probably adhere to it and answer the questions honestly.  Bad guys do not.  Really bad guys don't bother and buy guns off of the black market from which an NPR report says is pretty sizable in the City of Chicago.

These questions are also a joke.  What person that wants to obtain a gun for nefarious purposes would answer yes to any of these questions?  No one.  Everyone that turns one of these things in probably answers no to every question.  I only hope there is an investigation done to determine one's criminal and mental health history... otherwise the only value of this form is the $10 fee the state collects.

It was worth getting this form and filling it out simply for the entertainment value of the questions.  Am I intellectually disabled?  Probably not in the way that means, but the question is certainly up for debate.

"Are you an alien who is unlawfully present in the United States?"  Who would ever answer yes to this in a document that is going to the State Police?

They may as well have asked the following:

•  Are you planning to use a gun to commit a crime?

•  Are you affiliated with any terrorist organization whose goal it is to topple the United States?

I used to think there was a reasonable middle ground between the gun control advocates and the NRA.  Now, I having filled out this application, I am not so sure.

May Day

1964 May Day Parade

It is the first of May.  It was a lovely day in May here in Chicagoland.  It was a bright sunny day here in the mid-eighties.  It was like we went from winter to summer in the blink of an eye.  It was indeed like a summer day  But, we are in spring.  The leaves just emerging from the buds and a variety of spring blossoms remind us of the season.

May Day.  The first day of may has a special meaning around the world but not necessarily in the US.  Here is just another day.  

In many countries, it is a day to celebrate Spring.  In others International Workers Day is celebrated.  International Workers day was created to commemorate an incident that occurred in Chicago in 1886.   Worker's were protesting for an eight hour work day.  Someone threw a bomb at the strikers.  The police then opened fire... on the protesting workers.  Four protest were killed. 

The commemoration of the day was established by the First Congress of the Second International in 1889.  The Second International (1889 - 1916) was an international socialist organization that brought several socialist, communist, and anarchist groups and parties together.  There have been a series of these Internationals over the years.  The idea of an International Workers Day took hold and has grown.  Eighty countries officially celebrate such on May 1st.  Because of this May Day became an important socialist day of commemoration and celebration. 

1963 May Day Parade

It was no more so than in the Soviet Union. 

I recall that the Soviets put on a show for May Day.  The day is known as International Workers Day but in the good old USSR, at least as the parade was depicted in the good old USA, it was essentially a day to celebrate the Red Army and Soviet military might.  There were always parades of soldiers and weapons.  It was a huge deal and involved infantry, tanks, armored personal carriers, military trucks of all kinds, mobile missile launchers, and more.  The parade seemed endless and most impressive.  The parade would pass a viewing stand where the Premier reviewed his troop with the politburo all around him.  The soldiers carried huge portraits of Lenin, Marx, other luminaries, and heroes of the Soviet Union.   At least the parade was more of a celebration of Soviet military might than International Workers Day.  There was no doubt some propaganda involved.  Maybe, they were just making a clear and overt display of might.

The coverage of the event in the US was certainly laden with propaganda.  There was always an underlying message of "look! They want to use this army, The Red Army, to take over the world and to specifically destroy the American way of life."    I was only a school kid in those days and that was the impression I had of May Day.  In school, whenever we covered the Soviet Union in any class, there were always photos  of the May Day Parade and, more often then not, the photo was of the mobile missile launchers or heavy trucks each carrying an ICBM.

Later, I learned that military observers loved the parade to see what new weapons or versions of weapons the Soviets were displaying.  People that studied Soviet politics and policy would look to see whose portraits were in the parade and whose were not.  This seemed to imply most notably to Josef Stalin.  Was Stalin in favor or out of favor?    

In a way, I miss those days. 

The Soviet Union definitely had weapons of mass destruction.  Once a year, they paraded them around for all to see.  Perhaps because we saw the weaponry, we never went to war with them.  Sure, we had a most serious Cold War but no military engagements.  In Iraq, there were rumors or, OK I will be nice, wishful thinking that they had weapons of mass destruction.  We never saw them and... well you know what happened there.

          I always used to laugh at the term Mutually Assured Destruction and its inane acronym MAD.  As "mad" as it seemed to me then and even now, I have to admit it worked.

Annette Funicello (1942-2013)

I learned on Monday, April 8, that Annette Funicello and Margaret Thatcher passed away.   Thatcher was 87 years old when she passed and Funicello was 70.  Both were suffering with chronic illnesses.  Thatcher had dementia for many years which was a central theme of the movie Iron Lady starring Meryl Streep as Thatcher.   Funicello was stricken with multiple sclerosis.  Margaret Thatcher is certainly a luminary worth writing about but this is about Annette Funicello who was born on October 22, 1942 in Utica, NY.  She died on April 8 in Los Angeles. 

Annette Funicello was eleven years older than me.  I was born in the 1950s.  We were, supposedly, the first TV generation.  The Mickey Mouse Club, which debuted on October 3, 1955 when I was just two and she was 13.  I am not sure we even had a TV at that time.  But, I do remember growing up watching the first manifestation of the Mickey Mouse Club which ran to 1959.  I remember, at the age of six, not understanding why they stopped the show.  I felt like I was a Mouseketeers and was devastated when the show stopped.  To show you the power of the show, I thought the Musketeers of Dumas, when I first learned of them, were ripping off the Mouseketeers!

I enjoyed the Mickey Mouse club.  My favorite was Jimmie Dodd (1910-1964).  At 42, he was the oldest Mouseketeer.  He was the emcee and ringleader of the show.  I thought he was the show and it revolved around him.  I came to understood, even at that young age, that Annette was the Disney darling of the show. 

In the April 9, 2013, LA Times:

If you were a girl in the 1950s, Annette Funicello was ideal of feminine goodness, your fantasy best friend forever.  If you were a boy, she was your dream date, demure, doe-eyed and just different enough to set hearts pounding.

The LA Times noted that she one of the original Mouseketeers and "most adored."  Unlike, what seemed like the rest of the country who were her devoted fans, I was rather ambivalent to the perky actress.  Why?  I have a few theories. 

First, I believe that Annette took away from the more fun stuff the Mouseketeers did.  Things slowed down when she was the center of attention.  I felt the same was about Darla of the Little Rascals.  It was like, "hey, we are having fun here.  why do you have to come along and ruin it.  Actually, both Darla and Annette had roundish faces and looking back, I was always drawn to ladies with more oval faces.  Really?  It sounds odd, but I think it is true.

Maybe, being a contrarian even then, I was not a big Annette fan because everybody else was.  The same applied to Elvis Presley and even The Beatles when they first hit the scene.  So, my Annette ambivalence continued through her teenage heartthrob singing and movie careers.  With the social unrest and change in the late sixties and seventies, Annette became even more of an afterthought for me.

Two things changed my view.

As an adult, I have become a quasi-movie buff, I came to enjoy the MGM surfer films she did with Frankie Avalon.  What was not to like?  They were fun, funny, and entertaining.  Frankie and Annette were predictable but always cute.  The most popular is, of course, Beach Blanket Bingo.  They also appeared in:

How to Stuff a Wild Bikini

Beach Party

Bikini Beach

Fireball 500

Thunder Alley

Muscle Beach Party

Ski Party

Secondly, in the late 1980s, we heard that she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.  That was sad news and it did not seem fair.  She was supposed to be forever young either as a Mouseketeer or as she appeared in the surfer movies.  Her affliction made me take her more seriously.  Obviously, her affliction was a mortality slap in the face for my entire generation.  I took her more seriously not in becoming a huge fan, but more so I would read the occasional article about her when I came across them to see how she was doing. 

I came to learn that she was pretty much what we saw.  She came from a family with principles and values which along with her immense talent appealed to Walt Disney.  Annette carried that through her life and it showed in everything she did.  She was married twice and is survived by three children.  With the MS, she had brain surgery in 1999 to stem the growth of the tumors.  She was wheelchair bound in her last years and actually bedridden her final year.  Despite this, she was still involved in her business interests, especially her Fund of Neurological Disorders. 

Upon her passing, Frankie Avalon said, "She had the heart and soul and a feeling about her that everybody just connected to - male or female - without being pretentious in any way.  She was just a nice, nice girl next door... America's sweetheart."

I might be late coming to the fan club, but I realize that we just lost an American Icon.