July 20: I write every day. That has been well established in these
monthly letters. Normally, it is not
terribly hard to find things to write about each day. There are ideas and notions rumbling around
in my aging cranium. When I have
nothing, I can count on the rest of the world.
There is always news. There is
always some colossal in either the fantastic or idiotic sense that is worth writing
about. On rare occasions, when there is
nothing in my noggin and the world is relatively calm, I revert to "dear
diary" entries lamenting on the inevitable gaps between the person I am
and the person I believe I should be. These
are almost never worth sharing.
The
bigger the notion or theme, the more likely it is to span a few days and thus
turn into a monthly letter which I share with all of you. So far this month, the clever idea and larger
theme has eluded me. When that happens I
tend to fall back on a potpourri format that I am falling back on this
month.
Eski Dostlar: This
is Turkish for old friends. There is, of
course, a song by that name http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EI-3B-nxSs. The older I get the more meaningful this term
eski dostlar, viejos amigos, hin paregamner,
or old friends is to me no matter in what language. I worry that I am not keeping in touch with
my old friends properly. I neither call,
email, nor see them often enough. Some I
think of often. Others come and go into
and out of my short term memory. When I
apologize for not keeping touch, several of you, old friends, have reminded it
me that it is a two way street and they have been equally bad at maintaining
contact. A few have pointed out that I
write a letter, this letter, each and every month to everyone I think might be
interested in reading them. By doing
this, they point out, that I do keep in touch.
It never seems enough.
The
popularity of Facebook is exactly that it provides a very convenient format to
facilitate keeping in touch with lots of people. For a few minutes or hours per day, one can
find out the doings of those that care to share. It is quite convenient. The key is to keep from gobbling up too many
hours of the day. I just began on
Facebook. Why did I take so long? When I first considered joining circa 2006, I
asked my children if I should or could join knowing that, at that time,
Facebook was almost exclusively the domain of their generation. My son, Aram, put it succinctly, "If you
join, I will be compelled to quit."
In an effort to be a good father and provide my children with space, I
did not join. They both gave me the
green light a few years ago but for fun and just to be the obstinate father , I
refused to join until June of this year.
My
old friends, are for the most part, still around, still available to call,
email, or see. I know we are standing at
the edge where those in my generation will begin to leave. I saw it with my grandmother and I see it
with my parents. If you live long enough,
you will begin to outlive your contemporaries.
At some point, you will only have the memory of your friends. That is good and bad. The good is the memory. It is wonderful to think of and reflect on
old friends. The bad is the loneliness. This is not meant to be morbid. It is just a fact of life. I suppose the lesson here is to keep in touch
when you can.
New Friends:
It is important to keep expanding one's circle of friends... and not
just on Facebook or LinkedIn. This is
important if for no other reason than to still have friends given that you
might outlive most of your generation.
My parents, who are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary as this
letter comes out, do exactly that. They
are active and involved. My dad coached
the women's cross country team at Schoolcraft Community College in Livonia, MI
until two years ago. He recruits
athletes for the Detroit Armenian Youth Federation and HMEM teams. In the past few years, they have lost some of
their closest friends and relatives. I
know this has made them... what is the word... let's say
"reflective." But, to their credit and as a great example,
they take it in stride.
My
dad just had a serious surgery. He had
his aortic valve replaced. We were quite
concerned even though we were assured the surgery is routine. Such surgery is always called “routine” when it is happening to others. It is anything but routine when it is
happening to you or one of your loved ones.
Dad came through the surgery with flying colors. Amongst other things such as having a skilled
and talented surgeon, his lifelong commitment to health and fitness really
helped in his recovery. The amount of
calls, cards, flowers, and fruit baskets he received from friends old and new has
been overwhelming.
This
also reminds me of my friend David Attarian's father, Jirair. Jirair Attarian was a distinguished Armenian
writer. He was born in Konya in 1914 but
live a majority of his life, an Armenian life, in Beirut. The family moved to the United States in
1972. He passed away in 2006. In his life in Woodside, Queens, Jirair
Attarian kept his circle of friends vibrant and active. He sought out younger artists, musicians, and
writers. He became their mentor and
friend. Young writers, artists, and musicians
sought him out. When Jirair passed away
in 2006, it was amazing to hear the words of these friends talk about their
friendship with him. His example and
lesson had a profound impact on me.
Legacy: On
July 22, Penn State University took down Joe Paterno's statue in front of
Beaver Stadium. The storied coach was an
icon and a legend. Everyone loved him. This applied to Penn State fans for certain
but to college football fans in general.
What was not to love and admire? Coach
Paterno did great things for Penn State.
He was a role model for coaches in a jaded age. He personified class and a squeaky clean
program. He was all this until last
year, when the sad and sordid crimes of his former defensive assistant came to
light. It has been revealed that Coach
Paterno knew about these crimes and underplayed them. Now, it seems he might have been involved in
a cover-up.
When
I began work at Ford Motor Company in 1975 there was a saying the older guys
used to bandy about. They even had
Xeroxed copies of this little saying on their desks or taped to the walls: One aw shit wipes out a hundred
attaboys. I am sure this saying is not
unique to Ford but it sure fit their culture back then.
Joe
Pa's reputation is following this maxim.
He accomplished a lot. He did a
lot for a lot of people. He was a great
donor to the university he loved. But,
one aw shit has ruined all of his attaboys.
The “aw shit” was so devastating, his health took a dramatic and
immediate turn for the worse and he simply passed away.
It
would be to easy to assign some of this blame to the media. It is not their fault. The fact of the matter is that the media
simply did what they are supposed to do and that is to report news. Another fact is that the world has simply
shrunk because of cable and the internet.
Any blip of interesting news will be everywhere immediately. “Aw
shits” now travel at the speed of light.
The
whole thing is so very sad on so many levels.
I am glad Sandusky is in jail.
Aurora:
The Paterno story is sad, disappointing, and disgusting. What happened in Aurora, Colorado this month
was sadder and more disgusting. On July
20th, James Egan Holmes went to the premier of the new Batman movie
armed to the hilt. He just started
shooting. He killed 12 people and
injured 58 others. Insane. Sad.
Horrible.
What
makes someone go into a cinema armed with several guns and just open fire on
innocent people? How did the gunman come
to the conclusions that he needed to do this horrible crime? I
cannot fathom a thought pattern that would take me to killing innocent
people.
Does
this happen in other countries or is this mostly an American phenomenon? I get the impression this kind of things
happens more here than elsewhere. Does
that mean we have more psycho people? Do
such crimes occur in other countries around the world and we simply do not
learn about them? I am assuming that we
have more than our fair share of these kinds of crimes.
Other
countries have other problems. Certainly
there are places where terrorism takes the place of Aurora like crimes. There are other countries, dictatorships,
where the government forces are the criminals.
People are arrested and never seen again.
I
am sorry for the families of those killed in such a random and cold
manner. I hope that those injured full
recover. I seriously think the death
penalty fits this crime.
What is with Hollywood?: It
is like all creativity is gone from Hollywood.
They keep making and remaking the same movies. For example, there is the new Batman movie referred
in my reflections on what happened in Aurora, Colorado. It is like the umpteenth make or remake or
sequel of Batman. It is supposed to be
the end of the latest Batman trilogy. It
is the real honest to goodness last ever remake, at least this year, of Batman,
the son of Batman, Batman returns, or whatever we want to call them movies. It seems like each time in this series of
Barman movies that, if this is even possible, there is two times the number of
actors playing the Dark Knight. Really?
There
is also another Spiderman movie. Didn't
they just make a trilogy of Spiderman movies starring Topher Grace? (Topher Grace might have even played the Dark
Knight in one of the Barman movies for all I know?) Why another Spiderman movie?
I
just saw a TV commercial for the remake of Total
Recall, a movie originally starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. The trailer footage on the commercial looked
very high tech and might be a better movie.
The first one is still a good movie, why make another one. I am pretty sure that I not go to the theater
to see either of these movies. If I ever
watch them, I will simply wait a few months until they are available on cable.
In
2003, Ang Lee directed a movie, Hulk,
based on comic book character the Incredible Hulk starring Eric Bana and
Jennifer Connelly. In what seemed like
the next year (it was actually 2008 however), The Incredible Hulk starring
Edward Norton and Liv Tyler was released.
Really? Why?
I
should not be mystified or be asking why.
The answer is simple: money. I read
somewhere that this phenomenon is due to the industry having become more
corporate. Because they are more
corporate, they are less creative and want to go with... well... what they
know. So, they keep making and remaking
movies especially if we keep going to see them.
The Wisdom of Yoda:
Yoda is a fictional character from the Star Wars movies. Yoda is one of the great Jedi masters. He is a green, gnomish, and elfin who is a
master warrior, philosopher, and teacher.
Yoda is also known for his unique syntax. He speaks using a subject object verb form
that makes everything he says seem wiser than if uttered by anyone else in a
normal pattern. Instead of saying, as I might right now, "I am writing my
monthly letter." Yoda would say,
"Writing my monthly letter, I am." There is even a website called the
Yoda-Speak Generator (www.yodaspeak.co.uk).
There
is a quote from Yoda that has captured my interest of late: "Do or not do. There is no try." This is exactly what I need to remind myself
every day. There are things in my life
that I am forever trying to do or accomplish.
I say I am trying to do this or I am trying to accomplish that. In this class of endeavors which are all
subjects of previous letters, Yoda would slap my hand. I am either doing it or not doing it. Trying, in my case, is simply another way of
saying that I am not doing it.